My Family Photo Album
Family units differ from one another but there is also much diversity within the members of the same unit. We receive the same norms and education but each human being is unique and special and unlike the other in so many ways.
We are raised to sentences such as blood is thicker than water, respect your parents, be nice to your brother / sister and more but are not always able to do so. We find ourselves fighting, disagreeing and not understanding. We only see our point of view without knowing that there are so many additional ones, not better or worst. Just different.
We often need to make decisions together, solve problems, listen, relate and support.
We face many changes, challenges, new situations, dilemmas and problems.
This process gives us the opportunity to tell our story from a different point of view. This is a fascinating process of searching, which travels through images, words, flips over, divides, connects and plays with the different parts of our story – it makes us look at it from a new place and discover surprising insights.
Who is this process for?
My Family Photo Album can be connected to every subject within the family unit. The photo album which is created during the workshop can be the photo album of my relationships with my kids, the photo album of our family achievements, the photo album of the uniqueness of our family or of something we are going through.
Number of participants
You may work alone, in pairs or in groups. Ideal number of participants for the process is 4 – 5 family members. If your family consists of more the 5 members, divide into teams of 3-5 people.
3 hours but this is just an estimation. It differs between families. Be sensitive and act accordingly. You are in charge of the process. If you feel there is a need to take a pause in order to assist the workshop, to shorten a certain step or to stall on another – go ahead and do so.
The goal is to have all the members participate with enthusiasm and cooperation, otherwise it will not work. Have fun doing so and you will be amazed by the results.
Any location you feel is inviting and comfortable. Since this workshop is for the family unit, we recommend choosing a room in your house. One that feels like home and that will enable the participants to open up and feel free to share.
A set of Punctum – 1 game is good for a group of 3-5. For a larger group use 2 sets of Punctum.
Copies of the association diamond map as the number of participants
A cellphone, a computer or any other music playing device.
1. Introduction (Shorly) say: “Hi. I am really happy we all found the time and understand the importance of this get-together. I know this takes up your time from other activities you might have planned but it is highly important and we are going to have fun today. I am excited about the opportunity to go through this unique experience with you all.”
2. Goals of our meeting. Our meeting has three main goals:
– This is an opportunity to meet yourselves and the ones around you from a new angle, which enables observing our family from new points of view and experience true and authentic communication.
– This is an opportunity to rewrite our story.
– The third goal is about the specific content of the meeting. For example: I want to share with you all an amazing game which will show us additional points of view and will help us better understand ourselves, each other and various situations .
It could be about any issue related to your family – repeated fights, helping around the house, a decision needed to be made or any other issue that you feel needs assistance from the process.
3. General introduction about Points of You (Hold the game in your hand while you speak).
The company who developed this game is called Points of You® and is spelled with the word You rather than View because it has a double meaning.
The name is Points of You but sounds like Points of View. The idea is to emphasize the importance of seeing additional points of view –ones that are through you.
What is my point of view? This is the question we will be asking ourselves today. I invite each and every one of you to bring your own points of view into the room. There is no need to protect it, reject it or judge it. This is essentially what Points of You is all about- give everyone the opportunity to be authentic; to just be yourself. Listening is as important as communication because listening allows you to understand the family member’s point of view.
The games are not competitive, there is no winner or loser. These are games of cooperation. The Game explores essential subjects taken from our everyday lives, such as authenticity, gentleness, death, joy – each subject has a card with a photo and a title, in the book you will find additional perspective on each one of the subjects in more photos, quotations, stories and questions.
4. Photo, Word & Question
This activity will be divided into three parts: photo, word and question.
Part 1 – Photo
Choose a subject you would like to cover. It could be a general subject you choose for everyone or it could be a specific subject each participant chooses for him/herself.
Spread out the Punctum photo cards facing up and ask each member to choose minimum 3 cards for his/her album – which express best the chosen subject. After the choosing is complete, pick up the cards left at the center and put them aside.
Observe every card deeply, first look at each card separately and notice all the details in it. After you’re done, observe the cards you chose as a series and ask yourselves: what do my images have in common? What motif repeats in all your photo album images? The subject, the colors, the story they tell, the feeling evoked when observing them? (More about observing images on pages 12-13).
Each album’s owner introduces in a few sentences the subject of his/her album. The group members, each one on their own turn, reflect the owner their points of view on the album, generously and gently. Guide the group members to have an authentic and sensitive discussion in order to provide new perspectives to the album owner. After all of the members of the group spoke, the owner shares with them his story and his experience in this process so far. Limit in advance the sharing time to several minutes per member and notify the participants.
Take into consideration the ages of the family members. If the kids are young, they may need help and mediation and more breaks.
(During the sharing session we recommend playing some calm, quite music with no lyrics in the background.)
Sense the situation of your family. If you think they need a break, leave everything as it is and take a group break. If you feel everyone is still concentrated and it is not a good time to stop, continue to the next part.
Part 2 – Word
Each participant should sit in front of his/her photo album. Give everyone a pen or a pencil and the “Words Association Map” process sheet (page 52) and spread the word cards from Punctum, facing up.
Explain: “This is the time to give your album a title. Choose only one word to describe your photo album. You may choose a word from the cards or invent your own. It is important to be precise.
Expand on the Words Association Map:
The Words Association Map process sheet is a quick and surprising process which lets up expand our perspective on a word. We use it to explore the name we gave our album.
We write down the chosen title as the name of our photo album in the top rectangle in the Words Association Map (spot 1). Observe the word and write down in the rectangles underneath the first association that comes to mind. You continue like this throughout the sheet, with each line connecting between the associations. You shouldn’t think too much. Let the words flow, flip and change and come back together again for one new word. We recommend not repeating a word twice.
Stretch a vertical line between the first word (spot 1) to the last word (spot 10). Then ask them: What is the meaning of the connection between these two words?
Part 3 – Question
Spread out the question cards in the middle of the circle facing up. Each participant chooses a question for the group member sitting on his/her right. Choose a critical question which will deepen the process, don’t settle, don’t try to be nice, give them service. After you chose, each person asks the question, gives the card with it to the person on your right and they are invited to answer it. Dedicate 3-4 minutes per participant for this part.
Have each member of the family take a minute to himself to go through the process, the things he/she said and heard. New insights they have been exposed to, new understandings and new points of view.
Share with one another what you learned from this process, was it helpful? Did it help reach the original purpose? What can you take with you for future situations?
This process is an amazing way to be together with your family, to spend quality time with them, to learn and to teach, to open your mind and have a great time doing so.