Do you like changes?

Do changes keep you vivid? Interested? Energetic?

Our lives are dynamic and constantly changing requiring we adjust ourselves to new situations.

When change comes from the “outside in”, we are forced into a position of reaction to change (sometimes finding ourselves in crisis management mode). We tend to see change from the “outside in” as “disruptive”. We are not the initiators of this kind of change – it comes “at us” from the outside, due to forces or circumstances beyond our control.

When change comes from the “inside out” we feel it is made by choice and that we have control over it.

Taking charge of “outside in” change from an “inside out” perspective enables growth. The key is to look for the opportunity in the change and consciously choose our attitude and behavior(s) when faced with this change.

The below Coaching Game process developed by Points of You® will help you turn disruptive “outside in” change into an opportunity for empowering “inside out” choice.

Number of Participants:

The process is designed for pairs. Anyone you feel comfortable and open with in order to brainstorm and share your insights with.


Points of You – The Coaching Game 

The objectives of the process:

  • To stimulate awareness of personal sticking points relative to “outside in” change
  • To encourage a positive mindset and opportunity-focused strategy to handling change
  • To inspire clarity and confidence in decision-making and personal choice by managing change from the “inside out”


The estimated time for this process is +/- 15 minutes per each member of the pair.

Room/space set-up:

Any relaxed informal location you feel is inviting and comfortable. One that will enable the both of you to open up and feel free to share.

Activity Process – Step by Step:

Step 1

Think of an “Outside In” change that is a source of concern to you – one that you find yourself resisting or resenting. It could be of any topic and theme – work, family, relationship etc. Write it down at the top of the process sheet. Keep your description brief – one sentence.

Step 2

Lay out the Coaching Game cards on a wide surface.

There are two options for working with the cards. The first option is Face Up meaning we can choose the cards we wish to work with. This option on the one hand, neutralizes resistance from the unknown however is more time consuming since we put thought into which card we would like to work with. In addition, the act of choosing in face-up mode is a conscious decision and usually does not enable topics of which the participant is not consciously aware of to rise to the surface.

The second option is Face Down meaning the cards are unseen and therefore randomly picked. This option enables us to open up to another perspective on our life that did not previously lie in our field of vision however, may be less effective for those whom randomness clashes with their logical tendencies and can therefore generate resistance.

Both options work great! It is up to you to decide which one you prefer.

Step 3

Read the first question out loud and pick a card. Allow the image and/or the word on the card to inspire your response to the question. Share your thoughts out loud with your partner in a spontaneous, free-flowing manner. Sharing your answers with someone else creates a higher level of commitment and obligation to the process. It’s much easier to postpone actions and make up excuses to ourselves than to someone else. We tend to understand and to forgive ourselves for not sticking to our commitments much more than when we declare about them out loud.

Capture key insights on the process sheet.

Do the same for questions 2 + 3.

Step 4

Once you have answered the three questions, decide what actions you are willing to commit to.

Understanding, analyzing and thinking about the change is not enough.

We do not become more organized by purchasing a filing cabinet. We do not become healthier by buying a workout book. We don’t even become more at ease in our lives by signing to a yoga class. In order to enact change, we must choose to act, and it’s that action that drives the change, making the difference.

To embrace the unique opportunity in this change, commit to take the following actions:

One for the next 24 hours

One for the upcoming week

One for the upcoming month


Write down your Topic for the “Outside in” Change you chose:


  1. What am I resisting or resenting in this change?




  1. What is the unique opportunity in this change?




  1. What resources can I use to embrace this hidden opportunity?




To embrace the unique opportunity in this change, I commit to the following actions:

Next 24 hours:

Next week:

Next month:


Enjoy and pay it forward!


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